Jack - Christmas

[logan_echolls]

(continued from here)

Sitting in the boarding area, Logan looked out one of the large windows, watching as planes took off and landed. In a way leaving London felt wrong- As though he was taking a time out from serving his sentence. Though working for Torchwood often felt the same way. He'd given up so much when he'd left America, convinced that it was for the greater good, and now- Now it seemed as though it had all been for nothing. Just one more fuck up in a long line of fuck ups.

He took solace in the idea that at least with Torchwood he stood more of a chance accomplishing what he'd come here to do, but that didn't really make it easier.

Glancing over at Jack, he hesitated slightly before speaking up. "What happens if there's no answers. No solutions?" he asked quietly.

Comments

[logan_echolls]

Logan frowned at that, then sighed.

"Yeah, I guess," he agreed quietly, though the answer obviously didn't sit well with him.

[im_torchwood]

Jack leaned back in his hard plastic seat and spread his arms out, one flung behind Logan.

"Or, you know, we can keep doing what we're doing. Could have some dumb luck."

[logan_echolls]

"Well, I've never had any other kind," Logan replied with a dry laugh.

[im_torchwood]

"That's because there isn't any other kind," Jack laughed. "Why are you stressing about this?"

[logan_echolls]

"Because this is what I came here to do," Logan replied, as if that should be obvious. "I gave up everything to fight this threat- And now it turns out it might not be anything we can fight. ...I lost everything, for nothing."

His fingers curled into a fist, and he slammed it down hard on the seat next to him, causing someone a few rows over to jump. It was a glimpse at a Logan from long ago- But one deep breath later and he had himself back in check.

[im_torchwood]

"Not for nothing, Logan," Jack said quietly. "So maybe we're stuck on this one thing. We still do a lot of good. It's not for nothing.'

[logan_echolls]

Logan rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his short hair.

"I know- I know, it just... It sucks. It really sucks, Jack. All I do is make the wrong choices, time and time again," he said quietly.

He took another deep breath, then looked up at the ceiling. "I had everything, and I fucked it up. I always fuck it up."

[im_torchwood]

"I know you think that. You've always thought that. But it's not entirely true, Logan. So much is out of your hands and yet you always shoulder the blame."

He let his arm gently wrap around Logan. Not tight, just there.

"It's not your fault."

[logan_echolls]

Logan tensed under the touch, but eventually relaxed.

"You don't know me like that, Jack. You have no idea," he said quietly, almost relieved when they were called to board.

[im_torchwood]

"Let me be the judge of that," he replied, then snatched up his bag to carry on.

First class was absolutely worth it. Good food, champagne, better entertainment.

"Next stop, paradise."

[logan_echolls]

Logan had nodded off, but he stirred a bit at the sound of Jack's voice.

"I think I need another drink," he said, pressing the button to call an attendant. "You want anything?"

[im_torchwood]

"Yeah, I could go for a drink, too," he said. "Your neck ok? You really zonked out there, man."

[logan_echolls]

"Yeah, yeah, I'm alright," Logan assured him. "Look, I'm sorry I was such a mess earlier."

[im_torchwood]

"Nah, it's alright. We all have our moments, right?" he replied, giving Logan's knee a soft touch. "You've got a lot on your plate."

[logan_echolls]

Logan leaned back in his seat and sighed.

"Yeah, I guess. Either way, thanks, man," he replied.

The hand on his knee didn't go unnoticed, and it did make this trip a bit clearer. He'd suspected that Jack was interested in him, and, well, he still wasn't sure how he felt about that. It wasn't like he was certain he was straight, he'd had his share of experiences and confused feelings, but that didn't mean he was eager to have an affair with his boss. It seemed like a recipe for disaster, just one more possible fuck up. Though he didn't pull away. It was just a hand after all.

[im_torchwood]

The attendant brought fresh drinks and a tray of crackers and cheese. Jack was most glad for the drink.

"Have you ever been to Aruba?" he asked.

[logan_echolls]

"No, have you?" Logan asked, taking his drink and getting comfortable again. "I'm going to guess you have. You've been everywhere it seems like."

[im_torchwood]

"You're not wrong," he replied. "I've been just about everyplace. Aruba is nice this time of year. Hell, any time of the year."

[logan_echolls]

"I do miss the beach," Logan admitted. "I always felt free in the waves."

[im_torchwood]

"I know," Jack said, then immediately caught himself. "I mean, yeah, sure. Who doesn't? And you, Californian. Beach boy through and through."

[logan_echolls]

"You're coming off like a creeper, Jack. Tone it down, man," Logan snorted. "Just chill, alright? I get it, you're- You're lonely or whatever. Let's just take it easy for now, okay?"

[im_torchwood]

Jack took a sharp breath and sombered up. His biggest fear was happening. He was going to ruin this. It was one thing if Logan just didn't remember. It was another entirely if Jack ruined everything before even trying to jog the other man's memories.

"Yeah, no, it's ok. I'm ok. It's fine," he said, trying to play it cool.

[logan_echolls]

Logan laughed quietly, giving Jack's arm a light smack.

"It's fine, man. It's alright. Just relax."

[im_torchwood]

Jack could turn on the charm like few others. He got away with so much with just a few words and a dazzling smile. The fact that he could, and did, reflected how little most encounters touched him.

The entire opposite of how he'd suddenly become an absolute idiot. the more he tried to make this all seem normal, the more it became obvious that this wasn't 'just' a quick holiday for fun.

[logan_echolls]

Logan let him be for now, sipping his drink and looking out the window. He wasn't sure why Jack seemed so awkward suddenly, but maybe this trip would be good for them both. Jack clearly needed a break.